Call For Submissions

THE IHOP POETRY EVENTS SHOWCASES THE CREATIVITY OF RESIDENTS, VISITORS, & ARTISTS IN THE SURROUNDING MIDTOWN, OKLAHOMA CITY, AND VARIOUS AREAS OF OKLAHOMA, ITS SURROUNDING STATES, AND INTERNATIONAL SISTER CITIES. WE ARE COMBINING THE AREA’S DENSITY OF CULTURE, TALENT AND ARTISTIC APPEAL WITH ITS ENGAGED COMMUNITY WILL RESULT IN A COMMUNITY THAT REPRESENTS THE PLANNED VISION, LANDSCAPE & HIP CULTURAL VIBRANCY OF THE COLLABORATING PARTNERSHIPS OF MIDTOWN OKC BUSINESS OWNERS.

 

 

 

THE IHOP POETRY EVENTS SHOWCASES THE CREATIVITY OF RESIDENTS, VISITORS, & ARTISTS IN THE MIDTOWN URBAN AREA AND SURROUNDING AREAS. COMBINING THE AREA’S DENSITY OF CULTURE, TALENT AND ARTISTIC APPEAL WITH ITS ENGAGED COMMUNITY WILL RESULT IN A COMMUNITY THAT REPRESENTS THE PLANNED VISION, LANDSCAPE & HIP CULTURAL VIBRANCY OF THE COLLABORATING PARTNERSHIPS OF MIDTOWN OKC BUSINESS OWNERS.

AFTER THE JULY 30TH DEADLINE, A COMMITTEE WILL CHOOSE ARTISTS TO BE JUDGED PUBLICLY ON NOV. 3RD IN OUR SLAM COMPETITION.

THE 3 OVERALL WINNING POETS FROM THAT NIGHT WILL BE FEATURED IN OUR CULTURE KEEPER MAGAZINE AND DISPLAYED AT FUTURE IHOP FRIDAYS. WINNING POETS MAY BE USED FOR IHOP PROMOTIONAL MATERIAL AND PRODUCTS IN CONJUNCTION WITH THE POETS.

Note: This is an “unofficial” poetry competition. There is no expectation that any poet  will be adapted as a “Feature Poet”… (but who knows?!)

SUBMISSIONS BEGIN JULY 10TH.

DEADLINE: JULY 30TH AT 10PM.

TO SUBMIT ELECTRONICALLY:

EMAIL A HEADSHOT AND UP TO THREE POEMS IN VIDEO OR, WRITTEN SUBMISSION IN 12in FONT, WORD DOC, GOOGLE DOC, OR PDF FORMAT TO:

THETIMCENTER@GMAIL.COM

The information will not be made public; it will qualify you for certain award categories.



TO SUBMIT HARD COPIES:

DROP OFF YOUR HEADSHOT AND UP TO THREE POEMS IN PDF FORMAT TO:

THE TIM CENTER

432 NW 11TH ST OKLAHOMA CITY, OK 73103

THURSDAY – SATURDAY 1pm – 7pm and SUNDAY 1pm – 5pm

FILL OUT THE SUBMISSION FORM PROVIDED AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE, PRINT IT OFF, AND PAPER CLIP IT TO YOUR SUBMISSION.

BY SUBMITTING YOUR POEMS TO THIS CONTEST, POETS AGREE TO ALLOW THE INTUNE MOTHER PROJECT TO MAKE PROMOTIONAL MATERIAL AND MAGAZINE STYLE PRODUCTS FROM SUBMITTED POETS. THE PROFITS OF THOSE PRODUCTS WILL BE EVENLY DISTRIBUTED BETWEEN THE TIM ORGANIZATION, THE PERSPECTIVE CAUSE  AND THE FUND FOR IHOP CULTURE KEEPER FRIDAYS.

EMAIL OBALAYE AT OM.THETIMCENTER@GMAIL.COM  OR RASHAUNDA AT RL.THETIMCENTER@GMAIL.COM WITH ANY QUESTIONS!

Remember! SLAM Competition Nov 3rd!

Submissions after the deadline will not be accepted.

SUBMIT YOUR REQUEST HERE

 

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How To Start A Self Care Regime That Will Help You Thrive…

An Invitation To Beauty, Culture, Nature Based Products, and Therapeutic Services 

We’re excited to invite you The TIM Center’s themed event “Mimosas 4 Mom’s.” The goal is to facilitate a day of indulgence for moms and women to experience some of our SIGNATURE products and services, made especially for our members and loyal customers.

 

We are happy to invite at least 15 women to enjoy the beautiful, toxic-free, cultural environment that The TIM Center has to offer. Come and enjoy our four signature service and products that include yoga, massage, natural hair services, and cultural movementClick the image to purchase your ticket. 





Culturally Centered Wellness Services Now Available In Midtown OKC

Our Cultrally-Centered wellness services will change the way women, men, and children experience health and wellness. Whether you become a part of our member partnerships on a large scale, small scale or medium scale, The TIM Center Salon and Community Wellness Spa will help you customize your wellness goals and take your SELF CARE Regime to the next level. Check out our Wellness Program.



RESERVE YOUR SPOT TODAY!

mimosas4moms.eventbrite.com

Why A Culture Keeper? 

​For the first 5 days of Black History Month I wanted to share with you women who inspired me to be great and passionate about creating a synergistic balance in the culture of birth work and community centered wellness. 
Being a BirthKeeper means you are also a Culture Keeper… This is the steaming pot of social identity and mental health. 
So, over the next 328 days + (1095 days or 3 years to be exact) I will be laser focused on implementation of these legacy systems. It is my goal to make sure that we celebrate the best parts of our culture. It is not enough to begin with overcoming the trauma of the slave generation.   
Our DNA as people of color is riddled with this story 365 days a year. 

It is time to shift the multigenrational social and cultural concentration to one of healing and the necessary deep self-care that it takes to be better. 
Better as a person. Better as a people. Better as a community. Better as a Culture.
Our legacy begins in the cosmos. So how dare we limit ourselves to the point of view shown to us here in America. I am a proud citizen of the United States… Not because American culture is so great… But because I have always been here. My roots do not begin with the innovation of slavery. My heart and mind by way of my ancestors were here before colonization. 
… I will remember Amexam/Northwest Africa. I will remember Turtle Island… And I will not apologize for it. So that my children will know that we are conscious of who we are. And who we have always been… knowing that we are not inferior because, “We are Black History.” ⚫✴♾♛
#BeMagnetic #WeGrowHumans #MaatMind #InTuneMother #CultureKeeper #MELTribe  #TIMMatters #SOILLife #ImBetter

Who Was Shirley Chisholm? Day 4 of Black History Month

UNBOUGHT & UNBOSSED

12 Facts About Shirley Chisholm, The First African-American to Run For President

Being the first black woman to serve on Congress would be a significant enough accomplishment for a lifetime, but it wasn’t good enough for Shirley Chisholm. Three years after she arrived in Washington, D.C., Chisholm became the first woman to run for president for the Democratic party. When announcing her intention to seek the nomination in 1972, she stated, “I’m a revolutionary at heart now and I’ve got to run, even though it might be the downfall of my career.” Though her campaign was controversial at times, it wasn’t the downfall of her long and noteworthy career. Here are a few things to know about this bold educator-turned-politician.

1. SHE HAD INTERNATIONAL ROOTS

On November 30, 1924, Shirley Anita St. Hill was born in Brooklyn, New York to Ruby Seale and Charles St. Hill. Her mother was a domestic worker who immigrated to the U.S. from Barbados; her father, a factory worker, was originally from Guyana.Being the first black woman to serve on Congress would be a significant enough accomplishment for a lifetime, but it wasn’t good enough for Shirley Chisholm. Three years after she arrived in Washington, D.C., Chisholm became the first woman to run for president for the Democratic party. When announcing her intention to seek the nomination in 1972, she stated, “I’m a revolutionary at heart now and I’ve got to run, even though it might be the downfall of my career.” Though her campaign was controversial at times, it wasn’t the downfall of her long and noteworthy career. Here are a few things to know about this bold educator-turned-politician.

2. SHE WAS BORN IN BROOKLYN, BUT SHE DIDN’T HAVE A NEW YORK ACCENT.

In 1928, Chisholm and her two sisters were sent to live with their grandmother in Barbados, while her parents stayed in New York and worked through the Great Depression. Chisholm attended a one-room schoolhouse on this island in the West Indies. In addition to receiving a British education, she picked up an accent, which remained slight but noticeable throughout her life.

3. EDUCATION HAD A SIGNIFICANT IMPACT ON HER LIFE …

Chisholm returned to the U.S. in March 1934 at age 9 and resumed with a public-school education. Following high school, she studied sociology at Brooklyn College and earned her BA in 1946. (She was a prize-winning debater in college, a skill that would serve her well throughout her political career.) She continued her education at Columbia University and earned an MA in early childhood education in 1952. While she was still a student at Columbia, she began teaching at a nursery school and married Conrad Chisholm in 1949. They would later divorce in 1977.

4. … SO MUCH SO THAT SHE BEGAN HER PROFESSIONAL CAREER IN EARLY CHILDHOOD EDUCATION.

Library of Congress

After working at the nursery school, Chisholm worked her way through the teaching ranks and by 1953 was the director of two day care centers, a position she held until 1959. Her expertise and experience led to her role as an educational consultant for New York City’s Division of Day Care from 1959 through 1964.

5. HER POLITICAL CAREER—WHICH STARTED AT THE NEW YORK STATE LEGISLATURE—WAS REVOLUTIONARY FROM THE BEGINNING.

Chisholm was a member of the League of Women Voters and the Bedford-Stuyvesant Political League before she ran for the New York State Assembly in 1964. When she won, Chisholm became the second African-American woman to serve on the state legislature. From 1965 to 1968, Chisholm served as a Democratic member and focused on unemployment benefits for domestic workers and education initiatives.

6. REDISTRICTING INSPIRED HER RUN FOR CONGRESS.

Chisholm set her sights on Congress when redistricting efforts gave Brooklyn a new congressional district. Not one to shy away from the public, Chisholm used to drive through neighborhoods while announcing, “This is fighting Shirley Chisholm coming through.” She defeated three candidates in the primary election, including a state senator, before defeating well-known civil rights activist James Farmer in the general election. This victory made her the first African-American woman elected to Congress, and she would go on to serve seven terms.

Political buttons from the collection of Alix Kates Shulman. Image credit: Polly Shulman.”

 7. SHE HAD A WAY WITH WORDS AND ESTABLISHED HERSELF AS OUTSPOKEN AND READY FOR CHANGE EARLY IN HER FIRST TERM.

She was known for her bold declarations. After her upset victory in the congressional election, she boasted, “Just wait, there may be some fireworks.” And she delivered on that promise. Given her campaign slogan “Unbought and unbossed,” it should come as no surprise that Chisholm quickly made her presence known in Congress. She spoke out against the Vietnam War within the first few months of her arrival and said she would vote against military spending. When she was initially relegated to the House Agricultural Committee, she requested a new assignment, claiming that she didn’t think she could best serve her Brooklyn constituents from that position.

 

After directly addressing House Speaker John McCormack on the matter, she was reassigned to Veterans’ Affairs, and then moved to the Education and Labor Committee in 1971. True to her desire to bring about change, Chisholm hired all women for her office, half of whom were African-American. She was also a founding member of the Congressional Black Caucus as well as the National Women’s Political Caucus.

Chisholm with Rosa Parks (L) between 1960 and 1970. Image Credit: Library of Congress

8. HER PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN WAS UNEXPECTED AND HISTORIC.

Chisholm formally announced her intention to seek the Democratic presidential nomination in January 1972, making her the first African-American to run for a major party and the first woman to vie for the Democratic nomination. During her speech, which she delivered in her hometown of Brooklyn, Chisholm said, “I am not the candidate of black America, although I am black and proud. I am not the candidate of the women’s movement of this country, although I am a woman and I am equally proud of that…I am the candidate of the people of America, and my presence before you now symbolizes a new era in American political history.”

Although her campaign wasn’t as well-funded as her competitors’, Chisholm did get her name on the primary ballot in 12 states and won 28 delegates in primary elections. She received about 152 delegates at the Democratic National Convention, coming in fourth place for the party.

9. THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL WAS FULL OF CHALLENGES.

Chisholm likely expected challenges during her campaign, and she certainly encountered a fair amount. She received multiple threats against her life, including assassination attempts, and was granted Secret Service protection to ensure her safety. Chisholm also had to sue to be included in televised debates.

There was even controversy where there could have been encouragement. Her decision to run for the Democratic nomination caught many members of the Congressional Black Caucus (CBC) off-guard, and they weren’t happy that she acted before a formal and unified decision could be made. But Chisholm was done with waiting; when the subject of the CBC came up on the night she announced her campaign, she told the crowd, “While they’re rapping and snapping, I’m mapping.”

10. SHE HAD AN UNLIKELY SUPPORTER IN GEORGE WALLACE.

Chisholm was well aware that her biggest source of support came from women and minorities and often advocated on their behalf, so it shocked many of her supporters and constituents when she visited political rival George Wallace after an assassination attempt sent him to the hospital—and ultimately left him paralyzed—in 1972. Wallace, who was governor of Alabama, was known for his racist comments and segregationist views, but Chisholm checked on him. She said she never wanted what happened to him to happen to anybody else.

Ultimately, their friendship benefited the public when Wallace came through for Chisholm on an important piece of legislation in 1974. She was working on a bill that would give domestic workers the right to a minimum wage. Wallace convinced enough of his fellow Southern congressmen to vote in favor of the bill, moving it through the House.

11. FOLLOWING RETIREMENT, CHISHOLM DIDN’T SLOW DOWN.

Chisholm retired from Congress in 1982, but leaving the political arena didn’t mean she was done making a difference. Although she planned on spending more time with her second husband, Arthur Hardwick Jr., she also returned to teaching at Mount Holyoke College in Massachusetts and continued to speak at colleges across the country.

Chisholm passed away on January 1, 2005 at age 80 in Ormond Beach, Florida. She is buried in Buffalo, New York, and the inscription on the mausoleum vault in which she is buried reads “Unbought and Unbossed.”

12. SHE CONTINUES TO GARNER ACCOLADES FOR HER TRAILBLAZING WORK.

Chisholm was inducted into the National Women’s Hall of Fame in 1993. In 2014, the U.S. Postal Service debuted the Shirley Chisholm Forever Stamp as part of the Black Heritage Series. A year later, President Barack Obama posthumously awarded her the Presidential Medal of Freedom, and there is talk of a movie being made about her life. But Chisholm never doubted what legacy she wanted to leave behind, once saying, “I want history to remember me…not as the first black woman to have made a bid for the presidency of the United States, but as a black woman who lived in the 20th century and who dared to be herself. I want to be remembered as a catalyst for change in America.”

 

ARTICLE RETRIEVED FROM: m.mentalfloss.com/article

Maternal Health and The 3rd Day of Kwanzaa. Ujima means Collective Responsibility…

As I woke up this morning at 3:33 am CST, I could hear my children doing their traditional shuffles. They were preparing to come and creep into the bed, with my husband and I. So as I prepared to tell them, “Go back to sleep”… I am wide-eyed checking my Facebook timeline. I scroll down, I see a friend had posted something about a domestic violence video, of a woman beating her boyfriend up for cheating.

Another post of a birth worker that just witnessed a new baby into the fold of humanity. 

Lastly I came to the post of one of my good friends Nicole Deggins of Sista Midwife Productions. 

She is celebrating  (5 years) of service to training women in the community as Birth Sista’s/Doulas in her signature program this month. I am so proud of her. 

Today being the 3rd Day of Kwanzaa which is Ujima, means collective responsibility. I am proud to be in relationship and position, to be working with such spirited women. There is a legacy to be told and a powerful level of commitment to birth such projects. Along with deep focus on collective responsibility, this day follows a key principal:

The third principle of the Nguzo Saba is a commitment to active and informed togetherness on a subject of common interest.


So my question is: How can we not identify with the princiles of the Nguzo Saba to begin building programs worth a collective commitment? 

In this quote below, I took from the article that Nicole shared, sparked my whole reason for writing this “first wake” post.  

Despite spending two and half times more per person on health than the OECD average, the maternal mortality rate in the U.S. – the number of women who die during or as a result of childbirth and pregnancy – increased from 12 to 14 deaths per 100,000 live births from 1990 to 2015, putting the United States at 46th in the world. 


To me this is an long realized going off. A siren sounding. A gong… That we need to get to adhere to and get to work. As a social entrepreneur, birth woker, and future community developer, I have learned more about how the world works, being a mother than anything else. 

Motherhood has made me extremely passionate about creating synergistic balances, within the advancement community culture, reproductive health, and child wellness. This article spoke to me this morning and I hope that it speaks to you. That you may feel inclined to be a part of the solution for multigenerational health outcomes. Thus knowing that it all begins with how we are born. 

Til next time… I’m about to snuggle back into bed, with my husband and our youngest boy. Nothing like taking advantage of the power of a “second sleep.”

Happy Kwanzaa!!!

P.S. Check out the rest of the article below. There is a live feed from the event too. I’m gonna check it later. Leave a comment about what you think and how it relates to the 3rd Principle Of Kwanzaa Ujima.

Habari gani!!!

See more at: https://www.wilsoncenter.org/event/what-explains-the-united-states-dismal-maternal-mortality-rates#sthash.nKbGvpDx.dpuf?platform=hootsuite

A Black Carpet Community Brunch 

 

 

Mimosas 4 Moms

So we are only focused on mastering…

The Power of NOW!

We are a 100% parent led organization. Our primary goal is to find ways to keep other parents fully aware of all of their options pertaining to conception and childbirth. So we charged families to Birth Like A BOSS and began to strategize how they experienced childbirth. This is our why…

The BOSS Method Remix

As a Mother and Independent Perinatal Birth Consultant, I don’t expect change, I evoke change, with Father in mind, this power becomes we. This power becomes community.

Over the last few years, we became aware that not many childbirth organizations are led by minority women. So we found it necessary for us to “observe” this fact, and look for ways to employ some diversity, to the community of birth work. With the right setting and time, we can openly discuss how together we can heal the most traumatic racial disparities that affects the ecological footprint of the human family. When we appropriate our attention to the bigger problems then we find solutions. In the word “Sankofa” we must always remember to “reach back and get it.” This is our missing link to our success. In short, as modern day humans, I think we value technology too much, over our own intuition.

4

This discussion is not about race relations, as much as it is about the current human ecological crisis in the Black population. It is clear evidence when one group or population of people, are considered endangered by another group or population…

We have to challenge the consciousness of such science.

It looks like a league of unfamiliar saviors who speaks to the current issues, with an unfamiliar tongue, therefore confusing the proper dialog, with more disparity in our vulnerable communities.

We are not surviving because, we are disconnected from the NOW.

We are not surviving because we are not conscious of WHAT IS IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW?

What is most important, is that we direct our attention away from the frustration and anxiety, of what our community does not have, and who is not offering this or that. What are you doing to support the community. We have to become real. Time to get open and free your mind to find deliberate solutions. Easier said than done right… Well, within our consciousness, to get to the solutions and antidotes that our ancestors are speaking to us,  we have to begin with birth work. One woman, one baby, one family at a time.

Building On The Legacy of Sankofa

According To: HEALTHY START INITIATIVE

An Average Week In Oklahoma:

• 957 babies are born
• 150 babies are born to teen mothers (ages 15-19)
• 129 babies are born to mothers who receive inadequate prenatal care
• 71 babies are born low birth weight
• 112 babies are born preterm
• 8 babies die before their first birthday

Oklahoma ranks 6th in the United States on infant mortality.

The infant mortality rates for African Americans in our service area for every 1,000 live births, 13.6% of infants die.

The Time Is NOW! Be  An Ambassador.

Saturday May 7th will be our 1st Annual Black Carpet Community Brunch: Mimosas 4 Moms

By attending our Mimosas 4 Moms event, you will be helping our organization recognize the need of African American women in the field of birth work. In the state of Oklahoma the infant mortality rate has decreased over the last year, but the numbers are still staggering among the African American population. This event is geared to help the community understand how important it is that mothers have support from their 1st thru their 4th trimester.

Oklahoma has one of the highest rates in infant death in the U.S.

Every year about 100 families will tragically experience death of their new baby.

Black and Native American babies are 2 to 3 times more likely to die more than other populations.

We believe by adding more community based educators, that are trained with clear evidence based knowledge, and equipped with strategically designed tools for success, we can help reduce the numbers of mother and infant deaths in the state of Oklahoma for ALL women, with a strong focus on the disparities within the African American communities.

This event is two-fold

•One to celebrate recent graduates our 1st Community Certified Doula Training via our partnering organization Sista Midwife Productions. Class is scheduled for April 22, 23, 24, 29, 30, and May 1.  This event is to also reveal 20 Scholarship Awards for our 2nd training, June 13-17 via the “Accessible Doula Program” through The Matrona. This part of the Mimosas 4 Moms event that will be held in high esteem, the Saturday before Mother’s Day, May 7, 2016. (A limited number of seats are still available for both trainings.) Visit here to register: The Oklahoma Challenge.

•Two to recognize community partnerships and strengthen our network for our 4th annual #GivingTuesday campaign “I Support OKC Birth Workers of Color” scholarship campaign to continue to provide high impact perinatal education to women interested in the respective field of birt work.

So won’t you join us over brunch to see how you, your business, or organization can help us mobilize the need for RADICAL CHANGE in the state of Oklahoma.

RSVP NOW! 

Learn more about our local and virtual vending opportunities request a packet!

***Seating Is Limited

 Conclusion

We are a 100% parent led organization, by a husband and wife team of grassroots social entrepreneurs. We strive to maintain a free thinking environment that supports our artistic passions and goals to build our social welfare organization. And because we do everything from home. (i.e.) Home-birth, Home-school, and even work-from-home online, we really value our family life. We enjoy traveling, performing arts, and quality time with our 3 sons. The fact that we network for a living, is an experience that we aim to share with our core group of 3000 individuals across the globe. We dream in color and often remember the visions vividly. We set our intentions, these become our goals and we believe in our power to see them manifest. So stay connected to our website and let us know if we inspired you with any of our content… Also feel free to gift us with a colorful DONATION in support to keep our site going because we are…

Join us in finalizing details for our 1st Annual “Mimosas 4 Moms” Black Carpet Community Brunch. Become a TIM volunteer… Rebirthing Mother Nature’s Undisturbed Intent…

5 Reasons Your Wife Doesn’t Want Sex

Staying InTune To The Magic Of Marriage

Remember when you and your wife were dating?  It was really difficult to keep your hands off each other.  You wanted her and she wanted you.  That felt so good.  It was awesome.  There’s no better feeling than being desired.  After marriage, and particularly after having kids, things have a way of changing.  You are still ready to go every night, but she’s not.  What happened?  You feel like you rarely have sex anymore and when you do it feels like she’s doing you a favor.

You work out, you look good, but it doesn’t make a difference.  You’re lost.  This whole married sex thing was supposed to be different.  Couples counseling might be something to consider for deeper insight.  However, these 5 Reasons Your Wife Doesn’t Want Sex will help you understand and show you what to do.

1. She Doesn’t Feel Connected to You.

While we feel more connected to our wives by having sex, our wives need to connect first.  You may have talked with her about daily logistics or superficial things.  She needs more.  She wants to be seen, heard, and known.  The disconnect causes her loneliness.  It’s like she’s trapped in a dungeon alone.  You need to free her.

Action:Talk to her about her. Find out how she is feeling, her insecurities, fears, and struggles. Also share how you are feeling.  Look at her–no distractions.  Get tunnel vision on her.  “Clear the mechanism.

2. She Doesn’t Feel Sexy.

Her body has changed since having kids.  She knows it and she probably thinks about it all the time, constantly comparing herself to other women.  Even when she returns to her pre-kid body, I guarantee she’s still comparing–desperate for affirmation.  The best place she can get it is from you. 

Action:  Affirm her.  She needs to feel your passion for her in your words, body language and eyes.  Tell her she’s sexy and why—particularly when she makes a negative comment about herself.  When you get home from work, greet her with a long hug and kiss before you greet the kids.  Look into her eyes and don’t be in a hurry to look away.  When you’re out, direct your eyes to her rather than other places.  Give her a look that communicates, in a room full of people, she’s the only one you want to talk to.

3. Her Sexual Appetite is Naturally Not as Strong as Yours.

Studies show that over the course of a relationship, a woman’s desire for sex decreases while her desire for tenderness increases.  The problem is that our desire for sex stays just as high as always.  Even at its highest state, her appetite might not have been as high as yours and probably never will be.        

Action:Recognize this reality and be patient with her.  Reach out to her with physical and emotional tenderness.  That’s what she wants and needs.  Try to meet her needs before your own.

4. She is Tired, Stressed, or Depressed.

Motherhood is exhausting, emotionally draining and stressful.  Once again, depending on the depth of her anxiety and/or depression you may want to seek counseling.

Action: Give her some rest.  Take the kids out for a day, run some errands for her, or clean the house. If she is stressed or depressed, rub her shoulders without her asking you.  Give her a foot or full body massage.  Tell her to kick back and relax.  Give her music to listen to and light some candles.  Take her tension away.      

5. She’s Focused on Being a Mom, Not a Wife. 

Women put a lot of pressure on themselves to be the perfect mom–to have it all together.  They beat themselves up for every little mistake or lack of knowledge.  They compare and can obsess on eliminating imperfections.  Sometimes our relationship as husband and wife gets lost.  That’s not good.  Your intimate relationship is important and needs her attention too.

Action: You need to talk to her about how you feel.  However, make sure you are not prosecuting or pressuring her.  Encourage her about how amazing she is as a mom.  Let her know though that you miss her, want her, and desire her.  It might even be okay to use the word jealous here.  Your biggest concern should be for more intimacy–a significant need for each of you.

 

Related Resource: Get Real About Married Sex

 

Huddle up with your wife and ask her how she feels about your sexual relationship.

 

 

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