First off… Let me begin by saying that I am a woman, and then a wife, and then a mother and a social entrepreneur. The more information that I read about midwifery and the issues behind the color barriers within the birthworking community it creates within me a dull feeling. I wonder at times, how important it is to pursue a “profession” that has been a natural practice since the inception of time. With all of the founding organizations and new organizations that are subservient to these “grandmother” foundations, I wonder why is it that we are now becoming so covetous about such a free concept. As my husband and I build on the beauty of our simple and economically sound home birth experiences, we felt the need to share what we learned with other families, particularly within the community of color.
Now don’t get it twisted. The InTune Mother Project is not and exclusionary concept. What it is, is a community based project that is channeling into the statistical outcomes of those within our immediate peer group. It is not easy to speak to this issue, when there are so many skeptics. It use to be difficult to discuss with people that we did not hire a midwife for the birth of our last son, who is now 10 months old. It is almost like a scar to tell people that our second home birth was unplanned and unassisted. Yet the spirit knows who, when, where, and how… and my hubby and I trust that.
It was not until I attended The Matrona Retreat For Women of Color in the Spring of 2013 that I felt the true connection to my instinctive decision making. I could trust my body and my baby was on the same team with me. And my husband was the GREATEST coach of all times… And we won… and are still winning from the dynamic energy that one experience can offer us as a form of empowerment.
In the beginning we had so much energy and did not exactly know where to focus it all. So first we tried our hand at internet marketing. It was a very unfamiliar territory, but what we were able to grasp from the teaching tools landed us here. Giving us a broad platform to discuss the fragility and sacredness within, the empowerment of childbirth… Hints the title of this post “Stop throwing stones at glass houses”. The childbirth experience is not something that can be sold or bottle up and then tossed into the wind, hoping that someone will run away chanting your ideas. The experience of childbirth is of the Divine and to every woman there is a similar story, but all her own…
So shortly after our 3rd homebirth, we began blogging and telling of our challenges and triumphs. We began to share our fruits with an online community that didn’t know us from Adam and Eve. These individuals became our new friends. We learned that time and persistence is what pays off in the race to freedom. The freedom that we found was not in the concept of a dollar… Money was so contrary to our motivation. It became the desire to help others establish this freedom as well. While doing so… more and more of our original thoughts became clear.
Why did we homebirth our children? Freedom of Choice.
Why did we choose to do it unassisted the last time? Freedom of Informed Decision.
Why did we choose to breastfeed? Freedom of Maternal Equessence.
Why did we decide to begin a grassroots practice in birth work? Freedom of Spiritual Communication and Cultivation.
So I began by saying, “STOP Trippin!” The birth work industry is nothing new to our civilization. Medical science has turned it into a power struggle of ethics and theory. So here is my theory on the art of conception, childbirth, and parenting in short.
A woman will only conceive with a man that is designed for her egg at it’s proper time and hour. Infertility is a medical term and burden. I was 17 years old, having had premarital sex, no pregnancies (thank Gawd), and all of my closest family and friends were popping babies out left and right. Some had abortions to multiple fathers… it was the norm in my community. This is not to speak ill or corse against those circumstances, but I know that their experiences were not planned that way… by them. Every woman desires to have a family… meaning a partner and co-creator to share the experience of child rearing with.
So I recall a woman asking me… “When you gone have a baby”? I was somewhat offended… but in respect of my elders… I said, “When God says it’s time”. Then at 25 it hit me… I wanted a baby. I was getting older… and I did not have the right man to produce my seeds with. It took prayer and meditation to will him into my presence. I cooked for him, I primped for him, I even loved myself for him. Then he came, in the blink of an eye. I knew it was him and he recognized me and now we are 7-years strong, 3 children, and highly motivated to continue our mission together of truth and empowerment.
Bringing Home Homebirth
See conception begins in the womb of the mind. If you believe that you can have something… Then it will come to you. It will stalk you down… way down in your soul. You know the place where the baby is carried… In the solar plexus? The same love power that it takes for you to connect to the process of conception, is the exact same process in which we shall approach childbirth, yet in reverse. Instead of tuning into the power of attraction… we must learn how to let go without fear or restriction. This is the power of childbirth freedom… This is the empowerment of what love can do… even in the event of chaos… there WILL come order.
Then the hat of parenthood meets the idea of co-creation and the image of the polarity of the male and female principle becomes the essence of the God factor within identity. Like saying we are who we say we are. So call the children by their names. We name them in lineage and in love… Whether it is familial love, communal love, or conceptual love. I think that they really name themselves and we as parents have to connect to who they say they are. Because, the definitely knew who we were and they choose us. The children know who is the best fit for them… even the mother who is addicted to street drugs, has a cognitive connection with her maternal self… It is just somehow hidden in the darkness of her pain body.
That is why it is imperative to not be boastful and judgemental as it relates to birth work because, this is the most divine time during the process of bring together lifeforce energy. This is where we as women meet the most resistance. This is where we come into the light.
So when we summons help or assistance from the traditions of Western Medicine, or the hand of a Midwife (documented or not), or any other type of birth worker, it is not because we are helpless. We summons this help because it is natural to desire a community to take part in the blessing of childbirth. Women do not “need” to be told how to birth… they need to be reminded that they know what they know. The need to be reckoned to the essence of what brought them this far… with no risks, no worry, and no fear of giving birth, in the beauty of what nature intended… Undisturbed.
Stay Tuned In for this is only the beginning. If you like what you have read here, then subscribe. It’s that simple.
Peace, Love, and Light