I AM Complete 

IN COMPLETION

Opening one door is as easy as closing another. For the past 30 days we have learned how to treat ourselves with more respect and kindness in this 30 Day Kegel Challenge. Along with this challenge came an abundance of anxiety, fear, and expectancy. I had to forgive my self on day 28 because, I was ready to call it quits. To just close the group I had created and continue to just do me. But something clicked. I am doing this for me. I am doing this for those who are afraid. For those who are looking for solutions to the madness in hyper-sexuality. Those who complain about relationship drama. Even those who FEEL LIKE THEY ARE THE SHIT! These are the ones who I can create an audience for. An audience that, NO MATTER WHAT, can see me committed and striving to usher them into the creativity of my world. 

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Relationships, Sexual behavior, and Spirituality have been a long time research of mines. This challenge was totally inspired by the desire to create more forgiveness, discipline, accountability, and emotional responsibility, to those who struggle within these areas. I remember struggling. Wanting to be loved by a man, who I thought I loved. I mean, he was my first. At least the first man who I gave consent to touch me. I was the last of my friends to become sexually active at age 17. I needed to know that I was not what my mother would say, “young, dumb, and full of cum.”  Well I was to a certain degree. That is why that relationship lasted over 5 years and the love was fleeting. We both came from toxic backgrounds that would make it hard to succeed. As much as I would have wanted the fairytale of my first being my last, I later learned that my life was not designed with that storyline. So I began my self-directed research on why that relationship failed and what I learned was SO deep that it led me to The University of Hard Knocks. Not only was I more equipped for future relationships, I became more aware of my own weaknesses and fallacies. I became aware that I was responsible for attracting the type of relationships that I found myself in. Not all were bad, but I could see the patterns. And for that I am thankful for the breath of life surrounding me. The trust that I had in my ancestors to lead me to my best self so that I could reconnect to Him. The man who my magnetic body was designed for.

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A DEEP PENETRATING EXPERIENCE

Over this past 30 days we walked through the journey of the root chakra, using the power of yoga and 30 of The 42 Laws of Maat. We chose to launch this challenge as part of a bigger project, “The Magnetic Vagina™.” I know that when you hear those words together, “ALL KINDS OF STUFF” falls out of the mind. Some people may even find themselves in opposition, but that is exactly what this project is about. To make you get uncomfortable with the bullshit that we ALLOW to penetrate us with or without permission. To make you be accountable for what you expect out of your human experiences and valued relationships. To find that place where you can speak life over your experiences, until you reach a point of unconscious success. This research is designed to help me and my tribe get a better idea of how various groups identify with the sexual norm and contextual terms around intentional reproductive behaviors.

CONCLUDING OBSERVATION

What my team observed was people wanting to talk about certain parts of sexuality and forgo the parts of sacredness. What does this mean? It was also quite interesting to see the pain that many people sustain about the power they possess in their innate magnetism. At the same time, how so many were so reserved that they were reluctant to even introduce themselves. To talk about their transparencies, and desired connections. As we prepare to shift into PHASE II… of The Magnetic Vagina Project… We ask that you share a brief testimonial about the experiences you have observed over these past 30 days.

Because this challenge was totally “self-directed,” your input will help us build an understanding of the benefits of having such dialogue.

We ask that you share:
☛ Your observed benefits
☛ Your observations of struggle
☛ Your interpretations of experiences.

 

In this we conclude with deeper intentions and goals surrounding family centered empowerment.

In that… I AM Complete …

To submit your testimony please contact us at www.timcenter.org/contact-us

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5 Reasons Your Wife Doesn’t Want Sex

Staying InTune To The Magic Of Marriage

Remember when you and your wife were dating?  It was really difficult to keep your hands off each other.  You wanted her and she wanted you.  That felt so good.  It was awesome.  There’s no better feeling than being desired.  After marriage, and particularly after having kids, things have a way of changing.  You are still ready to go every night, but she’s not.  What happened?  You feel like you rarely have sex anymore and when you do it feels like she’s doing you a favor.

You work out, you look good, but it doesn’t make a difference.  You’re lost.  This whole married sex thing was supposed to be different.  Couples counseling might be something to consider for deeper insight.  However, these 5 Reasons Your Wife Doesn’t Want Sex will help you understand and show you what to do.

1. She Doesn’t Feel Connected to You.

While we feel more connected to our wives by having sex, our wives need to connect first.  You may have talked with her about daily logistics or superficial things.  She needs more.  She wants to be seen, heard, and known.  The disconnect causes her loneliness.  It’s like she’s trapped in a dungeon alone.  You need to free her.

Action:Talk to her about her. Find out how she is feeling, her insecurities, fears, and struggles. Also share how you are feeling.  Look at her–no distractions.  Get tunnel vision on her.  “Clear the mechanism.

2. She Doesn’t Feel Sexy.

Her body has changed since having kids.  She knows it and she probably thinks about it all the time, constantly comparing herself to other women.  Even when she returns to her pre-kid body, I guarantee she’s still comparing–desperate for affirmation.  The best place she can get it is from you. 

Action:  Affirm her.  She needs to feel your passion for her in your words, body language and eyes.  Tell her she’s sexy and why—particularly when she makes a negative comment about herself.  When you get home from work, greet her with a long hug and kiss before you greet the kids.  Look into her eyes and don’t be in a hurry to look away.  When you’re out, direct your eyes to her rather than other places.  Give her a look that communicates, in a room full of people, she’s the only one you want to talk to.

3. Her Sexual Appetite is Naturally Not as Strong as Yours.

Studies show that over the course of a relationship, a woman’s desire for sex decreases while her desire for tenderness increases.  The problem is that our desire for sex stays just as high as always.  Even at its highest state, her appetite might not have been as high as yours and probably never will be.        

Action:Recognize this reality and be patient with her.  Reach out to her with physical and emotional tenderness.  That’s what she wants and needs.  Try to meet her needs before your own.

4. She is Tired, Stressed, or Depressed.

Motherhood is exhausting, emotionally draining and stressful.  Once again, depending on the depth of her anxiety and/or depression you may want to seek counseling.

Action: Give her some rest.  Take the kids out for a day, run some errands for her, or clean the house. If she is stressed or depressed, rub her shoulders without her asking you.  Give her a foot or full body massage.  Tell her to kick back and relax.  Give her music to listen to and light some candles.  Take her tension away.      

5. She’s Focused on Being a Mom, Not a Wife. 

Women put a lot of pressure on themselves to be the perfect mom–to have it all together.  They beat themselves up for every little mistake or lack of knowledge.  They compare and can obsess on eliminating imperfections.  Sometimes our relationship as husband and wife gets lost.  That’s not good.  Your intimate relationship is important and needs her attention too.

Action: You need to talk to her about how you feel.  However, make sure you are not prosecuting or pressuring her.  Encourage her about how amazing she is as a mom.  Let her know though that you miss her, want her, and desire her.  It might even be okay to use the word jealous here.  Your biggest concern should be for more intimacy–a significant need for each of you.

 

Related Resource: Get Real About Married Sex

 

Huddle up with your wife and ask her how she feels about your sexual relationship.

 

 

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